Behind Closed Doors
by StellSkins123
Summary: Pain is all Abi Branning knew, whether it's emotional, physical or both, from her parent's multiple break ups, and her dad's knack for cheating, and even her own break up with Jay. But this is a pain she never thought she had to experience, and all she wants is an escape route or someone to help her, like Jay. Please review, and favorite. Maybe a one shot, or longer?
1. How it all began - Chapter 1

Not sure if this is going to be a one shot or longer, so please let me know if you'd like it to be a full story in the review section! and please leave me feedback, it's what keeps a writer going! Thank you. :')

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It is one crazy scary thing to constantly be in pain and consider it a regular thing, but that's what it was to her, searing pain that sometimes consumed her, so badly she had to muffle screams that were trying to force their way out of her mouth, and hide the limp that came from the burning ache in her thighs from purple bruises.

Suddenly all she would be aware of in the morning after the five seconds before her eyes open was the pain, something she had always said she would never put up with if in the position, but here she was going against her own beliefs because she was afraid, she was absolutely terrified for her own life, at times it even got to the point where she found herself fantasizing of a life where she wasn't even around, or back when she was happy in a relationship, where nothing could possibly touch her.

Abi wasn't sure how or when it got to this, maybe when she decided to open her mouth to Ben more than she should of, she had always had a knack for the foot in mouth syndrome, sometimes it plagued her, and just got her into heaps more stuff that she probably wouldn't have been stuck with. What was life when you couldn't even see a way forward?

She had to have props for one thing though, despite how many times she wanted to beg someone for help, or to scream at the top of her lungs about what was happening to her. She managed to keep her mouth shut, maybe it was because she knew what he was capable of. Ben had killed Heather for Christ sake, and he would always use his fists to put Abi in her place.

No matter how the bruises faded, the pain was always there, the pain that she somehow managed to mask with a bright toothy smile, but if she gave anyone the chance to look closely enough, they could see that the smile didn't even reach her eyes. It wasn't even close. Her eyes had this dullness to them, the spark that they had held long before then, completely wiped out. Like all joy had been sucked from the world. She remembered though that one morning, Jay noticed. He had been eating a slice of toast, and his mouth was full but she still was dying to laugh, he piped in and said. "Abs, what's up with you, lately? You constantly look like someone's pissed on your chips." Abi gave that smile again, and shook her head, seeing Ben stood behind Jay at the kettle, shaking his head at her, as if to say. _"You're getting it later."_ It was a good thing that Sharon was sorting Denny upstairs and Phil was AWOL or they would have seen it, not that Phil would probably be bothered since Ben was his golden boy.

"Just tired with work that's all. The boss has me sorting out all the call directories and bills and stuff, and it's a bit harder than I thought it would be." She gave a smile again, just hoping and praying that somehow, it would work. That Jay would buy it. It was one thing that made it so hard to do, and lie about and that was because Jay knew her too well. He nodded though, and looked as if he believed her. Maybe it was because it was a wet and blistery October morning and he was working at the Arches in less than a few minutes without much sleep. She knew that Ben and him had been playing the new FIFA game until late.

So far throughout her life, Abi had been scared of dying, her brother's death had petrified her, because he had been so young and had lost so much, it was petrifying. But lately she had this diary where she had documented everything that happened, all the punches, the kicks, and the horrible conversations of what he would say to her. She kept it in her locker at work, with a sticky note on the front that said. "If anything is to happen to me, give to Jay Brown as there's instructions inside. Thank you, Abi Branning."

In fact she had written goodbye letters too, just in case either Ben killed her by beating her to death, or if she kicked the bucket herself, deciding to kill herself. The letters were to her mother, her father, Lauren, Dot, Cora, Lola and Jay and even one for little Oscar and Dexter. She even remembered briefly writing one to Phil and Sharon so they could know what a precious little angel Ben really was, but she didn't think Phil would even read it.

Tears stained the important letters, especially her parent's and Jay's. She knew that if anything were to happen to her at Ben's hands, then Jay would blame himself and that wasn't what she wanted, and he would probably kill Ben because of it, she knew that somewhere inside Jay he did still care for her, even if it was as just a friend.

Standing up, she let her hazel eyes move carefully to look into the mirror, avoiding the pain that was searing above her right eye, looking at the damage that was done, her breath hitched in her throat, the bruise was bright purple, and she wondered how the hell she was going to hide it with make up. It ended up with her covering her face with what felt like six tonnes of concealer and foundation. Today was her day off, and she knew the boys were in half day, she couldn't help but feel the dread start to build in her stomach. What would it be today that set Ben off? What would she do to cause another row between them? And make the Mitchell boy mad?

It was like continuously walking on eggshells and she hated it, she just couldn't let herself relax. Abi had always been this bubbly bright and intelligent girl, but now with all that Ben had called her, all the words he had said that had slashed her skin like knives metaphorically, it made her feel completely broken down and alone. When in reality that wasn't true, if she needed someone, all she had to do was ask. She was quite close to Sharon and Jay would always be there for her. But with the words, it was like everything she knew just completely disappeared.

How could something break a girl as strong as her down? After all the stuff she had gone through in her life, it was like now she was actually weighing up the pro's about dying, such as being with her brother again, god she actually really missed Bradley, even if she didn't show it.

Pulling herself up, she walked down the stairs to the couch, she heard the front door open, and the familiar footsteps that she was dreading massively, surely he couldn't be back yet? What was he doing home so early? It was only half ten.

"Abi are you up?"

She froze, not knowing what to possibly say or do, but she knew that she couldn't avoid him, it would just cause further pain down the line.

"In the living room."

Her head snapped up as she saw the door open, and his face, and the expression she was dreading, it wasn't until she saw his hands gripping a letter, from her phone company, with the details of all her calls on. Her phone bill which she had already paid, but they insisted on sending itemised bills out every month.

"Why have you phoned a domestic abuse helpline?" The tone of his voice was repulsed, like she actually would go against him, and it was then that she knew she was done for, she had nothing she could possibly say, what could she say that wouldn't make him go off his nut?

Instead, she stood up trying to run, as it was the first thing that popped into her head, but it was no use because with all the pain she was in, he caught up in what felt like seconds, his hands gripping her throat as he held her against the wall, cutting off the air from her windpipe, and making it almost impossible for her to breathe.

"WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU ALWAYS DO THIS ABI! YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME ANGRY! Do you think I like being angry with you, huh? Do you think I like being this mad at something that's not even worth my time. You are not even worth my time. You do that again, and you'll wish you'd never have been born." He spat at her, gripping her throat again, before pulling her back and shoving her with a force. She didn't even have a chance to answer any of his questions, it was as if he didn't even want an answer anyway. She smacked her head on the side of the banister in front of her, catching her nose also, it wasn't until she heard the door slam that she realized she was alone. Blood dripped from the cut and her nose, the searing pain returning, but it wasn't like it ever really left, because even if she didn't feel it physically, she always felt it inside, a constant reminder of how alone she was and how hopeless this stupid situation was that she was in.

"You'll wish you'd never have been born."

If only Ben knew that she already did.

 _ **There's no one to save you, but yourself.**_


	2. I'm Staying, Here

Here's a new chapter lovebugs! Not too sure if it's good, or not, partly on the fence about it as I feel like I didn't do any of it justice! But hopefully you like it. You know what writers are like. I was going to have either Abi's full point of view in the next chapter? Or Jay at the hospital waiting for news? Or possibly both of their point of views? Either at the hospital or something. GIVE ME YOUR IDEAS! I need them trust me. Also, please check out my new story 'Home Again' which is based on a new member of the Carter family. Read Review and Subscribe both of them please! Lots of love, Essy! xx

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You know the first thing you feel after a fresh beating? **Shame** , and yes that's a stupid thing to feel, but Abi _just_ couldn't help it. She was ashamed that maybe she wasn't being good enough as a girlfriend, she was ashamed that she didn't hide that letter better. She was ashamed of how she looked, how much of a disappointment she must be. But that's not the only thing that you feel or have to deal with. There's the questions too. Whether you like it or not, you end up with countless questions. Did I deserve it? Could I have done something to prevent it? What if someone sees and asks? What if I don't have enough make up to conceal it? What if next time, he kills me? And surely you'd think Abi wouldn't feel the same way every time, but she did. She really did.

All through her life, she had believed that someone was fighting for her. Her mother, her father, or her sister and now, everyone was gone. She had **no one**. Her dad was in jail because of her, because she wanted to protect Ben, the Ben she believed she was in love with. When now, she hated him. But still, her mind was going over excuses. Maybe it **was** her fault. Maybe she angered him? She should keep her mouth shut and stay out of his way. _Easier said than done_ , really. Especially now she lived with him, and had to stay in the same room as him. She was like a magnet to it all.

It wasn't that Abi didn't want to leave, of course she did. But when it came down to it, it was like she forgot how. How she could possibly find the strength to leave? How had she forgotten her will power? The strength her parents always told her to have? Maybe it was because she missed them, her mother and dad that is. She was so weak, _well_ that's how she felt. She felt like she had no energy when it came down to it. She was alone. Who did she have that she could turn to? Someone who would understand. She felt like Jay didn't want to speak to her anymore, even though she never saw how he looked at her. Abi was completely oblivious to how Jay looked at her. How if you looked close enough, you could see how much he missed her by the lingering feelings in his deep blue eyes.

When she finally came around, Abi looked up, from her spot on the floor of the hallway in the Mitchell household. She knew how she got here, her mind flipping back to what must have been moments ago when Ben knocked her into the banister of the stairs. She didn't remember passing out though. Did she actually pass out? Or had she been so consumed by her thoughts that her mind and eyes were blind as she worried over everything.

Her hand reached up as cries left her lips, finally finding the banister, she pulled on it to somehow gather her strength and managed to get up, although it took a lot, she managed it. It must have taken her at least a few minutes to be back upon her feet again.

Eyes began to scan hastily around the room as she made her way up the stairs to her bedroom, crying with each step, she wasn't sure if she'd broken anything or maybe she was just hurting everywhere, even emotionally. Sometimes you just don't know where the source of hurt was, because you can't recognize how anymore, simply because you are hurting **_too much_**.

Being in an abusive relationship did that to a person, you didn't know whether you were coming or going, or whether you were just treading water continuously as you hope and pray that it was all a bad dream, and you were in a happy relationship. Not a shambles of one like this.

After what felt like forever, she had made it upstairs, and to the bathroom, her hands gripping toilet paper as she began to dab at the cut on her forehead, but things began to become fuzzy, like her vision was that of a fuzzy television, or as if she was on some kind of drugs and she found herself swaying. Her body moved side to side as she rocked on her heels, feeling her body falling backwards and she just didn't have the strength to catch herself or at least grab onto something, her back hit the bathroom door, shutting it as she fell and suddenly blackness was all she knew.

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Walking in, Jay slammed the door to the Mitchell House behind him. Ben was doing his head in, talking about how he and Abi were talking about moving out and settling down in a flat, the whole thought made him sick to his very stomach. He knew he had, had his chance with her and it was his own fault for letting her slip through his fingers but his problem was, that he never thought he was good enough. Abi would be going off and doing different things, things were she could show how intelligent she was and she was meant for greatness.

Jay? He was meant for a dead end garage working as a mechanic, with a girl who never left his side, and a few little ones. Maybe that's what he first thought when he saw himself gravitating toward Lola? And now look what happened, he wasn't cut up over the fact that she had dumped him because now he had realized he didn't love her, not like he had been so convinced he had. No, this kind of love was purely friendship, or maybe like a sister. Of course, yes, he had found her attractive, and Abi's plans for Uni had made him try and seek comfort in the young mother, but he knew now how wrong he was. What irked him was the fact that Lola had decided to dump him on his birthday and had even forgotten that it was his birthday. Who does that? Even Ben remembered, and he was as thick as two short planks on times.

It was funny though, it was only a few short weeks ago that he realized that there was still a spark there for him and Abi, they had sat and talked over breakfast, and she had given him a smile, something he hadn't seen her wearing in a while. It wasn't just a smile, it was a smile that she only ever did around him when they were together. One that made her hazel eyes light up with happiness, or amusement, something he had managed to awaken within her. Some how lately, he never saw her smile, but maybe that was just work weighing on top of her? He wasn't sure, he didn't like to ask. It wasn't his place, it was Bens. He didn't have the right, not anymore, anyway.

Ben was really taking the piss too, not just with the snide Abi jokes, but because Jay was fairly certain that he was still sleeping with the Coker's grandson, Paul and if that was true it not only made Jay's blood boil because he was hurting Abi, but because Ben had no remorse for it. He was a right sleazy git, and he just wanted Abi to be with someone better, even if she never looked at him, or wanted to be with him, Abi deserved the world. If he ever got the chance again, and things were like they once were, he would be the one to give her the world.

Placing down his keys on the table by the door, he pulled off his jacket and hung it up on the stairs, before walking toward the kitchen, it wasn't until he saw what looked like blood in the corner of his eye on the floor, that he stopped, his eyes widening for a moment. Who's blood was that? Phil's keys and coat weren't here, so it wasn't him, and neither was it Sharon's. Ben was over the arches, and he had just left there, and that left Abi. Turning on his heel, he began to look through all the rooms, until he got upstairs and checked her room. He almost stumbled over his feet in the process of all of this, his mind throwing multiple questions at him.

What had happened? Why was there blood downstairs? And why couldn't he find Abi? Was it to do with one of those geezers Phil had pissed off? If it was, Jay would flip, he didn't want anyone hurting Abi, just because she now believed she was one of the Mitchell's, didn't mean she was as strong as them. The Mitchell family had always been involved with some right dodgy people and Ben and Jay were used to it. God knows Jay grew up with it from his dad, Jase.

"ABS?"

He began calling her, but stopped as he saw the bathroom door shut, normally it was open just so everyone knew that there wasn't anyone inside using it. Walking closer, he felt his hands begin to shake, worrying what he might find after seeing the blood downstairs.

Pushing on the door, he managed to get it open just a bit for him to slip his head around the door, it was clear something was leaned up against it, and he felt his stomach sink when he saw her. Abi sprawled out, with a clear cut that was dripping with blood on her forehead, it looked a little deep, like a deep scratch than a life threatening one, but one that needed to be cleaned up, it seemed like that's what Abi had been planning to do when he saw the tissue paper in her hand. Kneeling down, he began trying to wake her.

"Abi? Abs, can you wake up for me, please?" He asked her, sitting down, so her body was rested against his, he began to dab at the cut softly as her eyes began to flutter. Part of him wanted to know how the hell she ended up passed out over a cut, or was he underestimating it's severity?

"Jay?" Was all he heard her say before she started whimpering, and began to sit up. He felt his eyes widen as he tried to figure out why she was in so much pain? Was it the cut? Was that the source of her agony, because he was positive that she had dealt with much worse in the past.

"Is it your head that's hurting?" He questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he looked over her, wondering how he could possibly help her.

Abi's hazel eyes looked up at him and she shook her head. "It hurts, but that's not it, I feel like I've wet myself. How embarrassing is that?" She joked, her hand moving down to touch the trousers she was wearing, before lifting her hand up and Jay's eyes followed hers.

 _ **BLOOD**_

A lot of blood.

God, why hadn't he noticed before? He had been so fucking oblivious and he could have helped her sooner.

He could hear her crying now and asking herself questions, and he couldn't seem to tune back in, it was as if he froze, trying to comprehend, how she was bleeding between her legs. Jay knew Abi like the back of his hand, when she was with him, she was very rarely on her period, simply because she was on the pill, well more so after the little pregnancy scare they had. This wasn't normal for her to be bleeding.

"Why are you bleeding? Did you stop taking the pill?"

"No... no, I'm still on the pill." Her reply made his heart sink, her voice was a cloud of confusion, like her voice was really far away and as it sank it, he realized. He shot to his feet, pulling his mobile out of his pocket. Lots of blood, that could mean anything, and he couldn't let her get worse, his blue eyes scanned and caught sight of her face which had visibly become more pale at their new information.

"I'm gonna ring an ambulance, Abs." He called over his shoulder, ignoring her pleas for him not to.

Stood at the top of the stairs, his mind began to run over time as he punched the three digits into the phone and pressed dial. What could possibly cause her to be bleeding? All that he could think of was that she was pregnant and had, had a miscarriage. His dad had told him about a friend of his years ago, who had a miscarriage and how she had bled. The ambulance was the only place he thought of calling, Ben didn't even come into his mind. In fact, he didn't want Ben there. The thought of Abi possibly having been pregnant with Ben's child made him feel physically sick, but right now he had to think of her. He had to keep her safe, and healthy.

"Hello, yeah, ambulance please. 55 Victoria Road, Walford." When he heard the operator begin to ask him questions, his mind became a flurry of confusion, and so many answers he could possibly say.

 _"Are you calling for yourself? If not, who for? And why?"_

"My girlf ... friend. She's hurt, I came home and she was on the bathroom floor and and she's bleeding from between her legs and she had a head wound but I didn't think it was that bad. Can you just just hurry please?"

When the operator said they'd be there as soon as they could, he muttered a quick thanks and ended the call, rushing back to the bathroom, he kneeled back down, and saw Abi's face a mask of pure fright. It must have been traumatic for her, but all he could do was be there for her. It was only then that he realized he had called her his girlfriend on the phone, but he didn't care. Because they were Jay and Abi and they always found their way back to each other, and where was Ben anyway? Abi was always his, and she always would be.

"I'm scared, Jay."

Pulling her close, into his arms, he held her close, his head on top of hers, as hers laid in the crook of his neck. He was scared too, it wasn't until a tear rolled down his cheeks that he realized he had been crying all this time. Petrified that he was going to lose her. He wouldn't, he refused to let that happen. It was now clear how much Abi truly meant to him, losing her wasn't an option.

"I'm **here** alright, nothings gonna hurt you. I'm here and I'm not leaving you, right? Don't you worry. I'm here."

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Oooh! So I hope you liked this chapter.

I used songs to inspire me for this and they are:-

I was here - Beyonce.

Turn your face - Little Mix.

Breathe me - Sia.

So if you like this, please review and fave and whatever else you wish and please go read some of my other stories!

Lots of love.

Essy!

(I'll try and update sooner.)


	3. As long as you're here - I'm good 3

Right! Let me first apologize for my lack of updating! Basically the last time I updated this story, my grampa had just died and since then I've been a mess of emotions, and coursework and trying to find my feet! I'm well aware of how it's been 3 months, and part of me had given up on the story because I couldn't seem to find any kind of muse for it. HOWEVER, at 5am, after waking up from sleeping early, I finally found muse on it, and here is the next chapter, which is over 3k words long, so hopefully? HOPEFULLY I've made up for the mess I've been and the lack of updating! I'm so sorry to keep you waiting for so long! I hope this chapter is okay, and lives up to expectations! The songs I used to help with the chapter was Alive by Sia, and Nightingale - Demi Lovato! I hope you like this chapter. xx Essy.

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 _Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock._

The tapping of his foot against the floor as well as the ticking of the clock was all that Jay seemed to be able to hear at that moment in time, along with the screaming thoughts inside his mind as to what the hell was happening.

The ambulance had gotten to the house in a few short moments, and he had been able to get a hold of Carol and Dot, who promised to be at the hospital soon, but Ben? Ben wasn't picking up his phone and Jay was positive, that either meant he wasn't bothered, or he was too busy having it off with the Coker's grandson. God he made Jay sick to his stomach. How he could betray Abi like that, he'd never know.

Part of him however, had this nagging pain in the pit of his stomach, that Ben was more involved with this than he realized, he felt like he had underestimated Ben's need for control. If he found out that Ben was involved with Abi getting hurt in any possible way, whether it be her being physically hurt, or emotionally, then he'd kill him. Not ** _just_** hurt him. He would make him suffer.

As soon as they had arrived at the hospital, they made Jay wait in the waiting room, much to his displeasure, and him objecting, they insisted that they needed to run a few tests and him being there would just get in the way. He didn't care about that, he just didn't want to leave Abi alone. He had promised her, he wasn't leaving and now he had, he was stuck in a poxy room, waiting for news while she was worried out of her wits about what was happening.

After a cup of coffee, and half hour of waiting, a nurse called him to one side, claiming to have news, and he jumped at the chance to find out what was possibly going on, at least then he could put his mind at ease as to what was happening.

"Jay isn't it?" The nurse asked, skeptically, her lips in a straight line. _Oh god, bad news. It must be bad news_ , Jay thought. _Why else would she be looking at him like that_? She was looking at him like someone had just killed her hamster or something.

"Yeah, that's me."

"Well, we have spent time trying to determine as to why Miss Branning has been bleeding so heavily, and while we now know the cause of the bleeding as such, we are still trying to determine what caused her injuries."

"Right, okay. Well, I just came home and found her like that. I've been in work all afternoon, and I popped home to get a sandwich and a can of coke, before going back to work because my brother was driving me up the wall and I saw blood downstairs. I think she must have fallen or something."

His eyes scanned up to the nurses who was looking at him, as if she was trying to figure out if he was lying or not, and he felt anger start to fill his body, it was like she was trying to insinuate that he had hurt Abi. He would **NEVER** do such a thing. **How dare anyone ever think that.**

"Abi's injuries aren't substantial with just a fall, Jay, she has suffered injuries that seem to date back a few weeks, without treatment and it's quite alarming. Now when we got here, you claimed to be just a friend, but you told the operator and the ambulance crew was under the impression that you were her boyfriend."

As the nurse mentioned the injuries, fury began to fill the pit of his stomach, injuries from _weeks_ ago? What the actual fuck had been happening? If Ben had been hurting her, then Jay truly felt like he had failed in protecting her, and he was at fault in that sense, but right now the nurse thought he was to blame for these injuries, and he needed to set her straight.

"Wait, so are you saying someone's been beating her? I used to be her boyfriend, but we broke up about a year ago. She'swith my brother, Ben now. but if I had the chance, I'd have never broke up with her."

Shit. Why are you telling some perfectly random stranger about how you'd be with Abi in an instant? _**You fucking idiot.**_

"That would seem so. Right now, we've given Abi some medication for the pain, but it would seem that something else has caused the bleeding, far more dangerous than what you two would have thought. It appears that Miss Branning has suffered a miscarriage."

Right in that instant, Jay felt both his heart sink, and his mouth drop open, he was speechless. This made him feel worse. Someone was hurting Abi, and now? She had miscarried a baby, while the thought of her having a baby with Ben left distaste in his mouth, it made him feel sick to his stomach that her baby had passed away, and because someone had been hurting her. Kicking several bells into her in fact. And he had been completely oblivious to this happening, right under his fucking nose.

"A _miscarriage_? Can I see her? Please?"

He just needed to be with her, he needed to comfort her, right in that instant. He didn't care about Ben, he had no intentions of trying to call him again because he was a million and one percent certain that it was Ben's fault that Abi was in this horrible mess and he would deal with him later. Any man who would lay a hand on a woman, is a coward. He thought Ben wanted to live up to the Mitchell name, as a hard man? Well, he got his wish, seems like he got his kicks from putting his hands on a woman in the worst kind of way.

"She's a bit groggy from the pain medication, and she's rather upset, but I think she would benefit from seeing a familiar face. If you would follow me."

Jay didn't need to be told twice, he gave the woman a quick nod of gratitude and followed her quickly, trailing behind her down the corridor and through various doors until he saw the familiar blonde sat upright in a bed, her eyes puffy, a dressing on her head. Tears were clouding her eyes, and he felt his heart break even more, more so now after actually seeing her, and the pain this was causing her.

"Jay." She breathed, happy to see him despite the whole mess this had caused. He was over to her in a flash of course, wrapping his arms around her tightly, moving into the crook of his neck, as he rested his chin upon her head. His hands moved to rub circles into her back through the hospital gown she was wearing, and he knew right then, that he just didn't want to leave her.

"It's okay. I'm here." He spoke, into her hair as the cries came, each sob that left her lips, hit him right where it hurts, he didn't like to hear her cry. Her crying, killed him inside, knowing he couldn't do anything at all to stop it, he couldn't bring back the baby, he couldn't stop the pain, or the grief that was weighing her down right now, demanding to be felt.

He pulled back for a moment, grabbing the seat at the side of the bed, pulling it closer, his hand moving to grab onto hers carefully, avoiding the drip that was currently pumping painkillers into her. His eyes found hers, and while she was still upset, he could see the appreciation lingering in her hazel eyes, happy that he was there, helping her through this. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she was possibly feeling, how it felt to lose a child. He hadn't ever been a father, he knew what it was like to lose a parent, that much was evident and that was horrible. _But a poor defenseless child_? He couldn't put himself into that scenario because he hadn't been there. The thought of her going back to Ben made him sick and he knew that he'd need to get her out of there as soon as possible.

"The doctors want to keep me in overnight for observation." Abi murmured, her voice thick from crying previously. Jay gave a nod, believing that it was best for her to be there, just to make sure she was okay and that she wouldn't come to any more harm. "They said I could have someone stay with me if I wanted, would you stay with me?" He heard her ask, and he was momentarily snapped out of his train of thought, his eyes meeting hers as his mind started to flash over why she'd want him and not her actual family but it didn't mean he wasn't happy about it. In fact, he was dancing on the inside, glad that she wanted him around, maybe it was because he was still in love with her, but he wasn't ashamed of that at all, in fact he was more than happy.

"You want me to stay? What about your Aunt Carol? Or Sonia?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing, though he wanted to be there for her, he couldn't stand in the way of family, family was important, and he was well aware of that, he actually totally understood it.

"No, I want you to be here. You helped me, and you were the one who got me here when it all happened. I don't want to be alone and you helped me, Jay."

He smiled, bringing her hand to his mouth, placing a kiss on the skin there. Maybe he didn't realize how loving that gesture was, but he did it anyway, he felt the need to cherish her, because she had been so deprived of that for so long, especially with what she was going through. Though she hadn't admitted it to him yet, he just knew, he knew that something had been going on right under his nose and he had been so blind or just stupidly caught up in his own messes that he just didn't realize or wake up to help her.

"Okay, okay. I'll stay. I don't wanna leave you out of my sight, Abs. I was so worried about you. What happened? How did you end up like this?" Though Jay knew the answer because his gut feeling was telling him so, he just needed to hear her say it and part of him was curious as to whether or not she'd try and cover it up. In all honesty he knew exactly when Abi was lying, so it would be pretty easy to tell when or not the truth was being spilled from her rosy pink lips. One thing that Jay prided himself on was knowing Abi, and he knew her so well that this? This whole little incident wasn't a one time thing. And it most certainly wasn't an accident.

"I fell. I got a little dizzy... and I I fell, hitting my head on the banister of the stairs." She spoke, pausing as if trying to think it through, if what she was saying in that moment was right, if it was believable.

"You know, Abs, I've known you god knows how many years, and we were together for ages. I know when you are lying. I'm gonna ask you a question and I want the truth, so _please_ tell me."

Abi nodded, her hazel eyes scanning down to stare at the blankets that were currently wrapped around her on the very hard hospital bed. She shouldn't have been surprised that Jay wasn't exactly oblivious to her lying face, or how she acted when she was trying to cover things up. He had been someone who had known her better than she knew herself, he still was, even though they hadn't been together. He was perhaps, her only friend in the Mitchell House. Of course Sharon was there for her, but she was Phil's wife. Who was to say she couldn't turn?

Jay took a deep breath as he was about to speak, knowing that this answer was pretty much make or break, he knew which way it was going to go and he knew how he'd react. It was like he was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. He was going to kill Ben, and he was going to make sure he paid for this mess. Nobody messed with or hurt Abi, nobody.

"Has Ben been hurting you? Did he cause this?"

The question lingered in the air for a moment, and as Abi heard it, she visibly flinched, like it was something that she had been pleading and hoping wouldn't crop up, but alas it had. She seemed to be visibly thinking of a way to get out of this, and Jay's eyes were on her face, looking for any kind of give away reaction, anything to give his question the right answer he needed. But as he was looking, he heard it, barely audible, but it was there, a simple and definite confirmation of the truth and it was like the bomb inside him exploded, he was bubbling. Just waiting to see Ben.

"Yes."

Abi's eyes peaked open, and found their ways to Jay's and she knew straight away, that he was angry, it was like she could see inside his brain, like a meter in his brain was going ten to the dozen. Trying to figure out what he could, what he could do with Ben. How he could get his comeuppance.

"I'll kill him, I'll bloody kill him. How dare he put his hands on you. I'm gonna kill him."

Abi felt him let go of her hand, and stand up, as if he was unsure with what to do with all the adrenaline pumping through his body out of the anger, he paced back and forth. Her hazel eyes watched him, unable to do anything to stop it, to stop him kicking off.

"How long has it been going on, Abs? How long has he been hurting her?" He asked, his voice rising alarmingly, as if he was going to start shouting, however that wasn't the case. He wouldn't shout at her, Ben however? He would make sure he wished he was never born.

"Months."

The simple answer made something click inside, Jay Brown. If there was one thing his late father had taught him, it was to always respect women. You never lay a hand on a woman, and when you find that woman you want to be with? You cherish her. He couldn't believe he'd let her slip through his fingers, if he hadn't, this would never have happened. He felt sick, he felt angry, he felt every emotion under the sun right in that moment. You name it, he felt it.

"Jay, come sit down." She urged, wanting him to calm down before a nurse saw how hostile he was in that moment, how the anger was basically eating him up inside. He listened to her though, moving to sit back next to her, his hand returning to hers. He was still angry though, she could see the fiery look beneath the pools of his orbs, fighting its way out.

"I could have stopped it, Abs, I could have helped you, why didn't you tell me?" He questioned, his hand holding hers, not too tight, but for dear life, if he let go of her hand he was afraid of two things. 1. He'd lose her. 2. He'd go off and do something he'd regret and end up getting locked up. He wouldn't regret hurting Ben, but he wouldn't want to leave Abi unprotected around him.

"You couldn't have done anything, I made the mistake of being with him, I got myself into this mess when I knew he was gay, it was clear enough when he slept with Lola. Lola told me herself before she left. Jay, this isn't your fault, please **don't** blame yourself. If I could have told you, I would have, I was just scared."

The fact that she had told him not to blame himself, didn't ease his guilt, it didn't make him any less angry either, especially when she mentioned how she was scared, that made his anger worse in fact. But he made himself look as if he was visibly calming down, just so she wouldn't worry too much about him, he couldn't have her making herself worse. His eyes scanned around the room, thankfully they had placed Abi in a room on her own. The room was just plain white as most hospital rooms are, and there was a small television up on the wall directly opposite her.

"Okay. I'm gonna go get something to eat, and I can call to the house, do you need anything?" He let his eyes move back to meet hers, concern clouding his orbs as his hand stroked hers. He was positive that she'd need pajama's or at least her phone and laptop so she could rest easier with something to do, something to keep her mind off of it.

"Can you get me my phone, a pair of pajama's or nightdress, and a roll from the café? I'm starving, plus this medication isn't helping." She joked, trying to make light of a bad situation, even if the joke did fail, he could see how hard she was trying, even if she was breaking inside beneath the surface.

"No problem, I won't be long. 30 minutes tops. Carol should be coming soon to check on you, she saw the ambulance." He explained, to which she gave a nod, thanking him. He leaned down, kissing her forehead.

"Don't ever do that again, you gave me a right scare and I don't plan on losing you any time soon."

His statement sparked something in her, maybe it was because after all these weeks, someone cared, someone wanted to see her alright. They wanted her to be around, and that warmed her heart. But it was also because it was Jay, Jay was her first love, he was the first one to teach her what it was like to be loved and to love in return and she would always love him, no matter what.

"I'm not going anywhere."

He gave a smile back at her, it was nice to see that they were still close, despite the tragedy, but the wake of tragedy had made them closer, and he had been right in how he had approached this situation. He knew talking too much about the miscarriage would break Abi into pieces so he had planned to just avoid talking about it too much, he didn't need to be the one who reminded her of all that she had lost, especially with what a gift a baby truly was, he knew that because once upon a time it had been them, fretting that Abi was pregnant with their own little one. Jay had been calm, and collected, because he knew what he had wanted, he knew who he wanted, and he knew what his future was. His future laid with Abi, and their very own family and in all of his stupidity, he had lost his way, but right now? He was crystal clear. He would be the one to help her, he would help her get back onto her feet, and get past this horrible pain she now had, he would help her become her own savior, and be the one to save herself. He would show her what it was like to be **loved** again, and to be appreciated and wanted. He would show her that she was the best possible person to him, and that he loved her. But _first_? First he would make Ben pay, that was what was on his agenda right that second as he left the hospital, hopping into the first taxi that he could find. His eyes seeing red, there was no way that the Mitchell boy, was getting away with hurting Abi. No way in hell. He'd probably regret it after, but right now, making Ben Mitchell not exist would cure Jay's anger immensely. Only time would tell as to how that would all go down.


	4. I'll make you face this - Chapter 4

Wow, so I know it's been some time. I've had exams, and god knows what else to deal with, and this chapter has been ready for months! I just never got around to posting it because I had so much to do. My creative writing coursework had to come first and that had to be handed in, so this story and my other ones took a backseat unfortunately. Now my drama rehearsals and exams are over, and my other A Level exams are done for this year, here's a short chapter! I lost a bit of muse forever, but here we go. Let me know if you want Jay and Abi to get back together, or her to rebuild herself? Or possibly for more drama from Ben! All these ideas help me because I'd much rather have other people tell me what they are eager to see!

The music I used for this was - Think Twice - Eve 6 for inspiration because of Jay's feelings for Abi, and also for his anger toward Ben touching her, Bleed it out - Linkin Park for Jay's fury.

* * *

There are no words for how hard it is to keep anger under control, and that was something Jay was struggling with right in that moment, as the taxi pulled up outside the tube, he gave the taxi man money and hopped out through the door, without a backward glance. For the whole ride, his knee had been jittering, and he had been cracking his knuckles, as if getting ready to suit up for battle, but he had one thing on his mind. Making Ben pay. It wasn't that far of a journey from the tube, he ignored the greetings of a few of the squares residents, including Billy, who seemed to be quite offended by the lack of communication on Jay's part, but he didn't have time to stop. The blood was pounding in Jay's ears, everything he was thinking was running in circles in his mind, things he could have done a long time ago to get Abi away from the monster that Ben was. He knew what Ben was capable of, he had been there when he killed Heather, accident or not, Jay knew. He should have done something, he should have saved her, and pulled her away from him. It was something to kill someone by accident, and to go to jail for it, but for Ben to have been beating Abi for months. MONTHS. How could anyone lay a finger on Abi? She was harmless. It just didn't seem right, it felt wrong and it made his blood boil.

He knew what it was like to see someone die, Jay hated the memories of Heather's death, god knows it had haunted his mind for months upon months, and he couldn't seem to run from the pictures that were left in his head, being with Abi had been his escape, the release he needed. Of course she hadn't been all too fond of what had happened, why would she be? But she accepted it, she was there for him, and that was all he could have asked of her.

The arches came into his view, and his feet sped up, a look of pure determination on his face, as the burn of how fast he was running hit the back of his legs. Turning, he walked up to the door, opening it, coming face to face with Ben, who was leaned over a car. Ben's head turned when he heard footsteps, and he smiled.

"Or'te bruv? Where's those cuppa's you left to grab then? I waited over an hour for..."

He was cut off with Jay's fist connecting with his face, knocking him to the ground like a ton of bricks, and it was like Jay suddenly saw red. His hands grabbed at Ben's polo shirt pulling him back to his feet, not even giving the younger boy time to recover, letting him recover was the last of Jay's worries or wants at that moment in time. Shoving him against the wall of The Arches roughly, Jay's face filled with fury.

"What the hell, Jay?" Ben gasped out, his eyes wild with fright, maybe it was because he had never seen Jay snap like this, because it had never happened. Jay had never turned on his brother like this before, not physically putting his hands on him, and causing him pain, but right now, they weren't brothers. Jay didn't even want to associate himself in the same family as this scum bag.

"How could you do that to her, eh? Hurt her and leave her to bleed? You've been hitting her for months, fucking months, Ben. I'm going to kill you." Jay spat at him, his hand closing around Ben's overalls edging closer to his throat, as his eyes blazed, it was like he was a complete different person. If there was one thing that Jay inherited from Jase it was his anger, and he had trouble controlling it just like Jase did.

"She's lying to you, Jay. You know what Abi's like, she likes a bit of attention, the girls a complete fantasist, and she's still in love with you, it's clear to see."

Jay laughed, scoffing for a moment as he shook his head furiously trying to keep his stance and not do something worse that he'd regret, he did promise Abi he wouldn't end up behind bars, but refraining from tearing Ben apart was so fucking hard. He knew deep down that she needed him, he couldn't let this monster anywhere near her again, not after the damage he had already caused, if he let him near her again, she might end up like Heather and then he would really end up on a murder charge because he'd make sure that Ben no longer existed.

That was the problem with Jay, he had no filter for his anger, everything just built up, and everything dawned on him in the last few hours, all the lies that Ben had been telling, how he'd been pounding his fists onto Abi behind his back. It was like Ben had been putting up the ultimate charade and making him think he actually cared about the Branning girl. There was always this idea in his mind that Ben would probably have been cheating, but he never wanted to believe it, but beating her? Now that was something that completely took him by surprise, it just went to show that what happens behind closed doors is really unknown.

"Abi wouldn't lie to me, and besides I've seen the state you've left her in back in the house. You didn't deserve her, Ben. And even if she does love me, at least I'm sure now that I'll treat her the way she deserves. I've made mistakes, but I've never laid a hand on a woman like you have. You should be ashamed of yourself, acting like the hard man when in reality you are nothing but a fucking coward. Your dad would be disgusted if he knew."

Ben had a moment to take the words in, and his face turned to one of pure spite, and Jay noticed this, almost readying himself for a backlash from the younger boy, maybe for him to try hitting him back, but he wasn't afraid. Jay had never been afraid of Ben Mitchell and he never would be.

"She deserved it, the stupid tart needs to learn to keep her mouth shut."

As soon as Jay heard his words, it was like the anger snapped inside him and he gripped him by his shirt and stuck his head into the shorter boy, headbutting him and watching him fall to the ground, groans leaving his lips.

"You touch or come near her again, then I'll make sure you never see the light of day again and that's not a threat Ben, it's a fucking promise."

Jay took one glance back at the Mitchell boy sprawled out on the ground before leaving, shaking his head at him in disgust. When he was finally away from the Arches, and walking quickly toward the house, he finally felt the weight of the tension leave his chest and shoulders, he could immediately relax, he wasn't fully relaxed because he was away from Abi, but he could relax enough knowing that he had hurt Ben just enough, for **now**.

Grabbing the clothes Abi needed and shoving them into a bag without taking much notice, Jay turned on his heel, leaving the house and heading for the café, to get Abi something small to eat. Picking up what he needed, he headed back to the hospital as quickly as he could. The girl he had loved needed him, and there was no other place he wanted to be, other than with her.


End file.
